Women and Men: Best Way to Communicate

It has been said that there is distinct difference between the way women and men communicate. Most of these theories lean on the theory that women and female in general talk more than their male counterparts. In his essay, “No Detail Is too Small For Girls Answering A Simple Question’” Tony Kornheiser argues that women will always give details in all their conversations, in their answers, when they are telling stories story telling or in their speeches. Kornheiser is picking this information from observing his daughters responses to the question “How was camp?” where the daughter answers back giving a lot of details on how the camp was, in comparison to the answer his son gives to the same question (Kornheiser, 2000). He says that boys will give brief but meaningful answers living out the issues that are not as important. On the other hand Kornheiser argues that girls will not live out any details. He argues that since the daughter’s answer was too detailed he was distracted and could not get all the information. From this observation he argues that women will give detailed answers to even simple questions, and that women add too many details in a conversation or in which ever communication. This essay will analyze the different styles of communication and the best style that should convey information in a clearway.

For communication to be effective, it is important that the information is complete, concise, concrete, and correct. The person communicating should be in consideration of the recipient’s interests and should be courteous in delivering the information. The person delivering the information should ensure that the information answers all the questions the recipient requires and that this information is accurate. Effective communication should give specific facts while delivering the information.

The information should be delivered in clear, precise and concrete words with only the relevant materials, avoiding repetition and wordy expressions. This is the kind of communication that Kornheiser refers to when he points out that his son’s answer is short and to the point, the short answer that “camp was good”, answers his question in short and precise words. This is in contrast to the lengthy words that the daughter uses in answering the same question. An effective communicator needs to take into consideration the attention span of his audience when giving a speech or when telling a story. This is to make sure the audience that the audience is not overwhelmed by too much information. The communicator needs to ensure that she/he does not loose the concentration of the listeners. In his article Kornheiser says that the lengthy answer by his daughter made him loose concentration to what she was saying because she was giving every detail of her camping experience. He implies that this should be avoided in all communication.

The audience or the recipient will determine how the information is delivered. There is generalization in Kornheiser’s theory in that his observation is based on communication as compared to his daughter and son. In general there is a difference in the way people communicate in different circumstances and depending on who is the intended recipient of the information. There are theories that have shown that when conversation is between women and me in a public place, men will dominate the conversation while the reverse is the same in an enclosed room, where the woman will talk more.

The best and most effective style of communication to use would be the assertive communication. This is the style where one communicates with confidence without manipulating the recipient. When using assertiveness style of communication, one works hard to get a satisfying and correct answer to the information required and will therefore deliver it with confidence, clearly and directly to the audience.  Because the person has worked hard to get the correct answers she/he is aware of the limits and will not be pushed or allow to be intimidated. This is in contrary to the aggressive and passive styles of communication. In aggressive style the communicator is manipulative and intimidating and achieves this by expressing anger or inducing guilt.

The communicator instills fear to the audience in order to avoid any questions being raised. In passive the communicator complies with whatever she/he is told, and avoids confrontation. With this style of communication there is limited talking and fewer questions asked. The communicator believes in safety that comes from not reacting and will not stand up, to avoid being noticed. There is another style that is both passive and aggressive, where the communicator will avoid direct confrontation but will get even when required by being manipulative. The best of these styles is the assertive style of communication where one delivers information with confidence creating a good communicating environment, which results to an exchange of communication between the sender and the receiver.

It is evident that men and women do communicate differently. It is therefore important that this is understood so that the best communication methods can be applied while communicating to men and women, at school and at work. This will improve communication between different audiences. Though Kornheiser’s theory is generalized it helps in learning the best way to deliver information effectively. To effectively deliver information or in story telling the aim should be to deliver the information. The best method is to deliver it in concise and clear ways giving a complete story that is clearly understood by the recipient. It is the recipient of the story that should determine the way the information is delivered. There are recipients who will prefer Kornheiser’s son’s type short and direct, and there are those who will prefer the lengthy detailed but possibly more interesting style of his daughter. The idea is to deliver the correct and concise information.

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